


Beating the Friendzone

by readsleepcoffee



Category: Underfell - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Friendzone, Keeping this one clean, Love Triangles, Making This Up As I Go, Nice guy uf!Papyrus??, No Smut, Papyrus likes Reader, Possible Fluff, Reader and Papyrus are friends, Reader likes Sans, Romantic Comedy, Sans Swearing, Sans likes mustard, Shojo - Freeform, Tsundere Papyrus, Underfell characters - Freeform, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Well sort of - Sans is going to cuss like a sailor, don't give up paps- you can have a happy ending too, never wrote fell paps before, sorry pals, web of lies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-09-30 03:36:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10152707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readsleepcoffee/pseuds/readsleepcoffee
Summary: No one friendzones the Great and Terrible Papyrus... especially for his brother.





	1. Coffee date?

**Author's Note:**

> Trying this out... I see a lot of Paps friendzone the reader... Not the other way around, and I thought it was cute :3 I need more cutesy fluff. I also like the idea of a Fell!Paps x Reader of this caliber.

You saw Papyrus sitting at a small two-person table, tapping his fingers impatiently, broody as usual, two cups of coffee on the table. A guy wearing flannel, hipster cut, glasses, and a goatee made a move to grab the spare chair, but Papyrus’ piercing glare stopped him, and the man mumbled an apology, shying away.

You smiled softly, and made your way over, taking a seat in the chair Papyrus defended for you. “Thanks for meeting up with me on such short notice.”

“Well human, although I am a person of great importance, I deem you worthy of my time, if only barely.” He replied arrogantly, and you rolled your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips.

You felt kind of jittery, and out of all the people you knew, Papyrus was the most suited to help you, as funny as it were. When you first met him, he did everything possible to remind you that you were a lowly human, not even fit to stand in his shadow, but as time wore on, and you got to know him, he became nicer, softer almost.

He still said cocky things, but you always felt that it was to maintain his appearance of whatever he was going for, Edgy Dark Lord of the Underground or what have you.

He pushed one of the coffee cups to you, “Be thankful I even thought to consider you.”

You bit your lip, biting back the cocky reply that was sitting on the tip of your tongue. Picking on him right before you were to ask a favor wouldn’t be daring, it would be foolish. Asking the ‘Great and Terrible Papyrus’ a favor was daring… and it was taking all of your courage to not run away.

“Thank you,” You said softly, noting a small red tint to his cheekbones. Why did that happen occasionally? “I asked you here because I wanted your opinion on some,” Your cheeks grew warm, and your stomach started doing somersaults, “well… dating stuff…” you trailed off, too embarrassed to meet his gaze.

You were met with silence, and finally you chanced a glance up to see his face tinted an even darker red than your own, before he cleared his throat, and brought a hand to his chest, tilting his face up and away, exuding arrogance and confidence.

“O-of course!” Did he just stutter? He cleared his throat again, “Of course you would come to the Great and Terrible Papyrus for dating advice! I am well experienced in this area.”

“Oh! Oh, um,” You took a sip of the coffee, it scalding your tongue. You coughed a little, and set the cup back down. “I’m not really in need of ‘dating advice’ per say… it’s um, well… it’s about Sans?” You brought your shoulders up, looking at tall skeleton, a shy smile gracing your lips.

He blinked, giving you an inquisitive look. “What about Sans?”

You blushed again, unable to hide the smile tugging at your lips, “What does he like,” You looked up, “Not like? Um, you know, if I were to ask him on a date, since he’s your brother, what would you recommend, to you know, help it go better?” You swallowed, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

Papyrus stared at you, his expression unreadable.

He did not understand.

You… wanted… to… date… Sans?

That good for nothing, lazy, vulgar, disgusting, sock hoarder?

Did you not see who was sitting in front of you? Papyrus canceled meeting with the ambassador of monster kind to meet with you, to go on this _date_ with you. Could you not see that he was obviously pining for you? He complimented you, he didn’t call you a disgusting human, and he informed you that he could bother to grace you with his presence, he BOUGHT you coffee!

Here you sat, asking him how to woo his brother?

He watched you watch him, your lovely gaze furrowing in concern. How could you want his brother and not want him? Wasn’t he being obvious? Sans could never appreciate you the way he appreciated you, the way he wanted to care for you, make you happy. Sans would just take and take from you until you were broken.

“Why him?”

You blinked, your eyes darting away for a moment before settling back on his eyes. “He’s funny, and laid back, and I don’t know. He seems like a fun person to get to know?” You shrugged; your cheeks tinted an adorable red.

Wasn’t Papyrus funny? Wasn’t he fun? Why could you not see what he was?

He couldn’t quite explain the feeling residing inside of his rib cage, it was strange, foreign, and it… was so uncomfortable.

It wasn’t rage, or anger, he was quite familiar with those emotions… no this was deeper, more painful.

“Figure it out for yourself, human,” He spat, and you watched Papyrus stand up, towering over you. He spared you a brief glance before swiftly exiting the coffee shop with the grace and poise of someone who was once the Captain of the Royal Guard.

You stood up, and started after him, calling his name, but the crowds of people that easily separated for the intimidating skeleton didn’t bother to make way for you, and soon you lost him.

* * *

Papyrus entered into his house, his gaze to settle on his lazy brother who was flipping through the channels, grin slacked, his slippered feet resting on the coffee table, a plate of lasagna balanced on his gut as he occasionally took bites. What did she see in him?!

“heya boss, how’d yer date go.”

Rage bubbled inside of the younger skeleton, and he summoned a bone, hurling it toward the older skeleton.

Sans scrambled out of the way, disappearing before reappearing on the other side of the living room.

“fuck, paps!”

“She likes y-” He paused for a moment before adverting his gaze to the floor. “She likes someone else! Someone that doesn’t deserve her. She wanted my advice on how to woo that loser.” His tone was clipped.

“aw, that’s a shame.” Sans’ tone didn’t convey sincerity. “so, that’s it then?”

“Of course! If she cannot see that I hold a tolerable amount of affection for her, then she is not worthy to date someone who is as terrible and glorious as myself.”

Sans glanced over, his grin wide, shrugging. “welp, if ya say so boss. guess i just never thought you’d be the quitter type.”

Papyrus’ piercing gaze narrowed on his brother, who blinked, then started sweating, “uh, i mean, if i were you, i’d get the broad ta fall in love with me, then reject her. y’know, show her who’s boss.”

Papyrus thoughtfully tapped his chin with his clawed finger, musing over how to do this. Make you feel the pain that you made him feel moments earlier.

“Sans, how would I go about this?”


	2. Cleaning date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus helps Reader clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza! The support??? I haven't wrote a story like this in... *Counts on fingers* a long time... so hopefully I do well. I’m a sucker for love triangles XD

**To: Papyrus the Terrible**

**Hey, I just wanted to say sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, and um, well… I care about you :)**

You sighed, expression pensive as you looked at your phone. You didn’t think that Papyrus would have got so bent out of shape over you asking about his brother… You thought you were a fairly aware person, and you thought you had reached the point in your friendship that you could ask for help in the matters of dating.

Papyrus was always eager to help you pick out cute outfits, and show you really neat make-up tutorials. He was your platonic friend who enjoyed the things you did.

Perhaps you had over-estimated the depth of your friendship, or perchance he was more protective of his brother than you initially thought.

Your crush on Sans wasn’t the earth shattering, true love kind of crush, but you would be a liar if you didn’t have a fantasy or two about him. His wide grin, and expressive face along with his jokes had charmed you, and you could see yourself hanging out with him on a lazy Saturday, chilling in comfy clothes, telling bad jokes, and watching comedy on Netflix.

You sighed again, and threw yourself on the couch.

~With Papyrus~

“SANS!” The former Captain of the Royal Guard marched toward his brother, holding out his phone like it was diseased. “The human has texted!”

Sans was sitting at the kitchen table, swiping through his phone, his eyelights flickering up, while eating a hotdog slathered in mustard with his other hand.

“already? sheesh, she’s makin’ this too easy.” He set down his phone and hotdog, wiping his hand on his shirt. He reached for the phone, but Papyrus jerked it back.

“Disgusting, wash your hands first!”

The shorter skeleton rolled his eyes, muttering grumbles, which the kind-hearted Papyrus chose to overlook.

Hands washed (without soap), Sans shuffled back to his brother, who shoved the phone at him. His eyelights swept over the text, his expression puzzled, his grin shifting downward.

“oi, this is bad…” He looked up at his brother who’s arms were crossed, his foot tapping impatiently, but froze, his gaze settling on his older brother, snapping back.

“Why?”

“she ‘cares about you?’ aw, bro, you’ve been friendzoned hard.”

Ha! Sans could not throw off Papyrus, he knew what he was contending with. “I, the Great and Terrible Papyrus will beat the friendzone!”

Sans rolled his shoulders in a lazy half shrug, “i dunno bro, it’s really hard to get out of the friendzone. not a lot of people can do it.”

“I am not _people_!” Papyrus spat, before regaining his composure, “Besides, you will get off your lazy butt, and assist me! At the end of this, it’ will be the human calling my name, telling me how great and terrible I am, wanting to hold hands with me!” He cackled, his eyes glinting sinisterly. The idea of you sitting next to him, legs curled up underneath you, book in your hands while he read over your shoulder, his arm draped around your shoulders, finger gently stroking the side of your face, the heat of your skin, the sound of your heart beat. Turning your head to look up at him, only him, your eyes shining so bright, giving him _that smile_. The world would cease to exist when he looked at you because you were his world…

Sans rolled his eyes, mumbling under his breath about this lame ass plan.

“What was that?!” Papyrus leaned down, glaring at his brother.

Sans forced a wide grin, “well bro, let’s get crackin’. we should help set the kid up with the guy she was askin’ yer help for. then we’ll sabotage their date, and when she’s all heart broken, ya swoop in, and show her how great of a guy ya are. with how cool ya are, she’ll fall fer ya in no time.”

The taller skeleton nodded, grinning wide, “Yes Sans. That is an excellent idea. Perhaps you’re not a total waste of space.”

“gee thanks bro.” The sarcasm in his tone was almost tangible.

“You are quite welcome.” Paps nodded, looking over his shoulder as Sans texted out a response.

**Papyrus the Terrible:**

**It’s okay doll, you’re fine. I care about you too. Let me help you out, k?**

Papyrus snatched the phone away, glaring at his brother. “I would never text that you imbecile! You should at least make some effort to make it sound like something I would say!” He furrowed his brows, sending a text back.

“my bad,” Sans shrugged, plopping down at the table again, and resumed his earlier meal, mustard dribbling down his chin. Papyrus scoffed again… why were you interested in his brother again?

~Back with You~

Your phone pinged.

You brought your phone over and swiped it open.

**Papyrus the Terrible:**

**Human! Being the generous person that I am, I have decided aid you, and will offer my assistance since you so desperately need it.**

You let out a laugh of disbelief. That right there was your friend Paps to a T. In all honesty that was the response you had initially expected. You weren’t desperate, but you liked knowing everything you could possibly know before making plans. You weren’t a “fly by the seat of your pants” type of person. You liked to plan the spontaneous; it made everything less stressful that way.

You did have reservations about Papyrus helping you though. With the blow up from earlier, you didn’t want to put him in a place where that would happen again, so you made an executive decision that would be good for both you and him.

**(xxx)xxx-xxxx:**

**It’s fine, you don’t have to. Don’t worry about it, but thanks!**

 

**Papyrus the Terrible:**

**I will help you achieve ultimate happiness, be grateful I am doing this.**

 

**(xxx)xxx-xxxx:**

**Um, thanks… I guess?**

 

**Papyrus the Terrible:**

**You’re welcome. I am coming over now.**

 

**(xxx)xxx-xxxx:**

**Now? Um, but I’m super busy today.**

 

**Papyrus the Terrible:**

**Nonsense human! You asked for my assistance, so I will lend it when I have time. Have tea prepared; I will be there in 10 minutes.**

 

You jumped off the couch, looking about your apartment. It was a mess, clothes strewn everywhere, along with food containers. The floor needed to be vacuumed and the surfaces dusted… you and your roommate had really let it go.

You walked over to her bedroom and knocked twice, and heard a groggy voice of acknowledgement.

“Hey, Sarah, um, I have someone coming over in 10 minutes.”

More groggy noises.

Sometimes you felt like she was the monster hiding in your closet, er, spare room, because she would hide in there all the time if she wasn’t working. Sometimes you would leave cake offerings outside her door, and like a little goblin she would snatch the cake, only to toss out the fork and cake tin when she was finished.

You whirled around, taking a deep breath. Less than ten minutes to make this place acceptable for the judgmental, great and terrible Papyrus… great.

You were had just turned on the vacuum when your door knocked. You turned it off, and made your way over front door, opening it wide and seeing Papyrus standing there, dark edgy black and red outfit, easily towering over you, sharp grin in place.

“Hi, welcome. Please come in, I was just vacuuming. Today is usually my cleaning day.”

He stepped past you, eyes roaming across your apartment, stopping in front of your vacuum. He turned to look at you, scowling. “I suppose I should show you the proper cleaning technique, as the lines in your carpet are not precise and orderly.”

Oh jeez.

“That’s okay, I was just trying to hurry through so you wouldn’t be sitting there watching me clean.”

“Nonsense! Proper technique is not something that should be thrown to the wayside for the sake of guests!” He grabbed your vacuum turning it on and with meticulous motions ran it over your carpet creating perfect lines, even in the corners.

He barked at you to help him move the couch, which he did more of the heavy lifting than you, and you watched in fascination as your friend guided the vacuum around as if it was a dance, each step precise and measured.

When he was done, he turned it off, then spun around to face you, fists planted on his hips.

“That is the proper technique for vacuuming, even a half competent imbecile can figure it out.” He smirked, and you raised an eyebrow at him. Did he just call you an imbecile?

“Um, thank you for your help, I guess…” He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture, and you made your way over to the vacuum, wrapping the cord up.

“Of course, it is my duty as your friend to help you master even the simplest tasks.”

Oooh boy, today you’re just hitting all the raw nerves. Your eye twitched, and you shoved the vacuum into the closet, trying to remember why he was even here in the first place?

Oh yeah, he was supposed to help you with knowing how to set up a good first date with his brother.

Closing the closet door, you looked around to see him nowhere in sight, but you could hear rummaging in the kitchen. Walking in to the kitchen, he was bent down at his waist, rummaging through your refrigerator, softly humming.

“What are you doing?” You tilted your head to the side.

“I was perusing your pathetically stocked refrigerator, human,” he replied dismissively. “Obviously, with all the help I have given you today, the least you could do is feed me.”

Ha, typical Papyrus. “Mmm, don’t cook. I usually order takeout, options are on the fridge.” You sidled up to him, pointing a finger to an Italian place, “they’re pretty good.”

He stared at the paper, and you couldn’t tell if he was disgusted or not before he snorted. “You have not had good pasta until you have sampled my delectable food.” He crossed his arms, and turned his head away.

You let out a little giggle, and gently placing your hand on the door, closing the refrigerator. “How about we go grocery shopping then? We could make it together?” Nothing like cooking with friends for a fun night, right? “I’ll buy the food as a thank you for the vacuum.” You smiled sweetly.

Papyrus blinked a few times, his face growing steadily warmer. You wanted to cook lasagna with him? He could see it already, him talking about how great he was, as you nodded emphatically, standing next to him in a cute frilly pink apron, praising his skills as a culinary genius, and then you would try to reach for something on the highest shelf, but unable to reach it, would grab a stool. As you reached you would loose your balance, and he would catch you, and you would look up at him with the big innocent doe eyes, your hand gently placed behind his neck, and he would lean down ever so gently his teeth brushing softly against your warm silky lips-

“I’m ready to go whenever you are,” You were looping a scarf around your neck, standing by the door.

He blinked, then glanced around, regaining his bearings. “Of course I’m ready!” he replied easily, “The Great and Terrible Papyrus is always ready,” He strode past you without a second glance, and you rolled your eyes following him.

He led you to a breath taking black Lamborghini, and he was opened the door for you. You slowly climbed in, baffled by the sudden show of chivalry, but then thought maybe he didn’t want you touching his car. He shut the door with care, and glided over to his side, his tall lithe frame easily maneuvering it’s way in. The car roared to life, and with much passion like Papyrus himself, tore it’s way out of the parking lot and onto the streets.

After several minutes Papyrus cleared his non-existent throat and you glanced over to him.

“Human!”

“Papyrus… the Terrible.” You replied coyly, and he glanced over quickly before looking back at the road, shoulders tensed. You knew saying that always got a reaction out of him, but you didn’t understand why, just that you thought it was kind of funny… maybe a little cute, but you would never tell him that. He would probably scream in disgust, and you didn’t spend all this time becoming his friend to blow it up with a comment about how cute he was when he got flustered.

“I… I have a joke for you.” He replied, voice strained. He was nervous, as he had never told a joke before, but he knew you liked them, so he was going to try. “What do you call a stick that doesn’t come back?”

“I don’t know, what?”

His eyes went wide, and he stiffened. He messed up the punch line! He was so embarrassed and he could feel the heat radiating off his cheekbones, he had to recover and fast!

You looked at him earnestly, waiting for the punch line.

“HA! I meant to mess up the joke just to show you how stupid they are!” He let out a dark chuckle, and you stared at him quizzically.

* * *

Since you never went shopping, following Papyrus was exhausting. He insisted that everything be made from scratch, and thoroughly examine each and every item of produce that you were to buy. As he was looking at the tomato, you decided to see if he really didn’t like jokes.

“Why did the tomato blush?”

He glanced toward you, giving you a wary look. “Why?” His gruff tone couldn’t impede your smile.

“It saw the salad dressing.”

He snorted and looked away, and you looked down a little disheartened. Then a raspy chuckle reached your ears, and when you looked up, he was covering his bright red face with a gloved hand, shoulders shaking.

“That joke was absolutely dreadful.” He retorted, but his smile told you otherwise.

“Only the most dreadful joke for the most terrible skeleton,” You winked, and his laughter stopped as he cleared his throat, his face a red mess.

Was he feeling okay?

Before you could inquire he stomped away, brooding like his usual self, and before you knew it you had finished and headed to the check out line, and then headed back to your apartment. Setting up, he was very particular with how the process was to go, all the while going on and on about once you tried his lasagna you would be begging him for more. You couldn’t help but want to tease him a little.

“I don’t know… It would have to be some pretty good lasagna.” You drawled slowly, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

He puffed out his chest in pride, “You are lucky I even deem you worthy to try my cooking.”

“Oh, lucky me. To have garnered favor with the Great and Terrible Papyrus.” You put a hand to your chest, batting your eyelashes.  
He nodded, his cheekbones red. “Yes, I should have you grovel at my feet in appreciation.”

Did he seriously just say grovel?

You held a hand to your mouth as you snorted with laughter.

Papyrus didn’t understand why you were laughing. What he said wasn’t funny; he was being serious. He started to get upset, but the sound of your laugh was delightful, and he chuckled softly along with you.

The lasagna smelled delightful, and your mouth watered as you sat across from Papyrus, your knee barely brushing his. Your table was a small two-person table, and with his long legs, it was impossible to avoid bumping your leg against his. Good thing you were good friends, otherwise this would be incredibly awkward.

You took a small bite, chewing slowly.

Papyrus watched with bated breath, your expression contemplative, unable to push the feeling of your leg against his, out of his mind. As you finished your bite, you looked down at the food then back at him, “This is amazing! This is the best lasagna I’ve ever had.” You took another bite, chewing enthusiastically.

He preened under your praise, watching you eat the food he prepared with much love and affection. Perhaps after eating his food, you would see him as the superior brother, and then want to date him.

As you finished your last bite, you decided to finally approach the subject that had initially brought your friend over.

“So, um,” You felt shy all of a sudden, “about Sans?” You looked up apprehensive.

The tall skeleton scoffed, scowling with annoyance. He fished out a piece of paper and threw it out you.

“That should have everything you need to make that lazy, good for nothing brother of mine fall for you!” He snarled, standing up abruptly, and started for the door.

You scrambled out of your seat, following him. He quickly opened the door, you following on his heels. “Hey, I just wanted to say thank you so much for everything, and I had a lot of fun.” You smiled, and he turned around pausing.

He stared at you for a long moment, expression neutral before jerking his head away. “Likewise human!” And just like that he left.

You closed the door, locking it, and then pulled out the paper he gave you.

**_Things Sans likes:_ **

**_Me_ **

**_Mustard_ **

**_Grillbys_ **

**_Being lazy and useless_ **

**_Sleeping (which goes along with being lazy and useless)_ **

**_Insufferable puns and jokes_ **

**_Here is his number, that way you do not need to contact me for useless information such as this_ **

You rolled your eyes, grabbing your phone. He was such a funny guy. He must’ve forgot that you and Sans exchanged numbers awhile back.

**(xxx)xxx-xxxx**

**Hey, I was wondering if you were free tomorrow night? I was thinkin’ Grillbys?**

Sans was thumbing through his quantum physics book when his phone pinged, drawing his attention. He grabbed his phone, flicking it open, the screen illuminating his face. Sweat broke out on his skull, and his eyesockets grew wide as saucers,

“...shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes; Next chapter: “boss, why didn’ ya tell me she was interested in me?”  
> Papyrus snorted, “I didn’t think you needed to know.”  
> He rubbed his hand against his skull, scraping sound breaking the tense silence. “ugh, i’m too lazy fer this shit.”
> 
> Also, the joke Papyrus goofed goes like this: “What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?” “A STICK!” bows under applauds, cat calls, and whistles, and accolades.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated!! (・`ω´・)


	3. Dinner Date??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go on a date with Sans

Sans had to wait for Papyrus to get home, and it was the longest 10 minutes of his life. He couldn’t help himself, but read over your message several times. You liked him? Sans? This had to be a practical joke, honestly who would like him; at least in a romantic sense? He was a slob, and as his brother so kindly put it, good for nothing waste of space.

Testing the waters, he chanced a text back. Maybe he was reading too much into this, and like with Papyrus this was a friend date, too.

 

**comic sans:**

**u sure u got the rite #?**

It wasn’t even a full minute and you replied.

 

**(xxx)xxx-xxxx**

**Sans, right? Oh jeez, if I sent this to someone else it’s going to be really weird… :/**

 

He could feel his soul throbbing in his rib cage. This definitely was no accident. Oh man, and by texting you back you now knew he had read it, and you were waiting on his reply.

Wait, why was he getting all worked up. It wasn’t like he _liked_ you. Yeah, you were cute, and sweet, but he just didn’t have it in him to date, and anyway Paps was gunning for you.

He rubbed his hand along his face, bone scraping bone. He now had to devise how to date you, and dump you without being such an ass that you would want nothing to do with Paps.

“Sans! I’m home and I have done what you’ve asked of me.” Papyrus announced with much grandeur, slamming the door behind him.

The shorter skeleton jumped up, and exited his room, hands shoved into his pockets, his red gaze settling on his brother’s.

“boss, why didn’ ya tell me she was interested in me?”

  
Papyrus snorted, “I didn’t think you needed to know.”  
He rubbed his hand against his skull, scraping sound breaking the tense silence.

“ugh, i’m too lazy fer this shit.”

Papyrus put his hands on his hips staring down at his brother, “You do not have the time to be lazy. It is of the utmost importance that you help me to achieve my goals!”

“boss, i ain’t datin’ the girl yer after. this is like some bad anime alphys made me watch.”

The former captain of the royal guard paused, giving his brother a quizzical look, “There is an human documentary about our situation?”

The lack of hostility made the older skeleton sweat, and he swallowed nervously, “uh yeah, why yer askin?”

Papyrus nodded, clenching his fist, “I must obtain this _anime_ and observe how the situation is handled, that way I can do the proper research.” He grabbed Sans by the scruff of his jacket and dragged him out the door.

* * *

**comic sans:**

**heya, tmrrw sounds g8. c u then.**

Aside from his abysmal text speech, you were a little excited. Granted it took him over an hour to reply from his last text, but hey, he accepted, so win, right?

You threw yourself back on the couch, squealing from excitement.

Your roommate’s door opened, and you heard her shuffle out.

“You’re date gone?”

You sat up, giving her the stare that said, _Pfft, puh-leese_. “Papyrus, _my friend_ , left. We’re not dating.”

She shuffled into the kitchen, and you heard her scoff. “Really, I totally sensed those vibes from him.”

You made your way into the kitchen, looking at her, brows drawn. “What vibes.”

“He’s totally crushing on you.”

You snorted with laughter, and rolled your eyes. “Um, no. We’re just friends. He has made that very clear, and anyway, I like his brother.” She turned her head to look at you, “I asked him out and he said yes.”

She blinked, before looking back to the fridge, grabbing some of the leftover lasagna. “And your friend, Papyrus, helped you set that up?”

You shrugged, glancing at your phone, “I guess… as much as he helps anyone.”

She paused putting the lasagna on a plate, and turned her body toward you, “You really don’t see it?”

“See what?”

“Nothing, never mind.” She shook her head, and finished grabbing food, and shoving it in the microwave to heat up.

“See what?” You pushed.  
“Nothing, I guess my intuition is off. I just thought that your friend liked you more, but hey, you know him better then I do.” The microwave beeped and she pulled out her food. “So, what are you doing with the brother?”

“Sans? We’re going to Grillby’s. I’m not sure what, after that though.”

“What’s he look like?”

You swiped through your photos before finding a decent pic and showing her, her eyebrows climbed on her forehead, and she smiled pensively. “Paps is cuter.”

“Pfft, stop. Seriously just stop.”

She took a bite, her eyes lighting up. “I thawght you did’en cook.” She mumbled while chewing.

“Papyrus made it.”

She eagerly ate the food on her plate, and once finished, dropped her dishes in the sink, and shuffled toward her room. She paused at the doorway, grinning at you. “I like Paps cooking, invite him over more often.”

“Sarah!” You groaned, grabbing a towel to throw at her, but she ducked inside her room, door clicking shut.

* * *

You had gone through several outfits before you finally broke down and texted Papyrus for help, which led you to the ever awkward, but always needed, “How does this look text?”

After the fifth text of him saying “THAT ABYSMAL OUTFIT WOULDN’T IMPRESS A SKELETON!” You sent him a picture of your closet, to which he texted back a combination, a modestly short plaid skirt, white knit leggings, with your brown boots, and a white loose fitting shirt with a knit sweater overthrow, along with your black beaded necklace and your hoop earrings. He recommended you curl your hair, and let it hang down, and wear natural make up, with explicit tips on how to apply each item of makeup.

To say he was a life saver would be an understatement.

Once finished you snapped a picture of the entire get up, and sent it to him, along with a thank you message.

A quick glance at the time on your phone showed that it was time to go.

* * *

“Sans, you remember what they did in the human history documentary, correct?” Papyrus stood with one hand on his hip, and the other one pointing an accusing finger at the growly shorter skeleton.

“bro, trust me. we don’t wanna do that. how about i treat her nice, and at the end, just let her down easy. it’ll be safer fer the both of us.”

“No! We must follow the plan! In the show, the lady protagonist was pursued by both males, but she favored the more gentlemanly one, which would be myself.”

“Bro, we only seen one episode, and we don’t even know how it’s gonna end.”

“It’s obvious how it ends! She’ll fall in love with me.”

Sans sighed, shoulders slumping. This whole thing was going to be a nightmare… Papyrus refused to follow his advice, and did whatever he felt was the best course of action in the moment, and Sans didn’t even know what the hell he was doing.

At first, he thought he was helping Paps seek revenge, but it was obvious his bro was gunning for the long haul…

“what’s so friggin’ special about this broad anyway.”

The former captain of the royal guard paused, his cheeks dusting a light crimson, “She is a,” He flustered, searching for the right words. “She would be someone of a respectable caliber to associate with me on a romantic basis.”

“the girl of yer dreams?” He grunted, “great…” His sarcasm fell on deaf ears as his brother regained his composure. If she was so stand up, why was she pining for Sans and not for his cool, younger brother.

“I will only say this once, _follow the plan_!” Papyrus shoved him out the door, slamming it right behind him.

Sans grumbled, shoving his hands into his black hoodie, his sneakers dragging on the pavement. His clothes felt kind of weird, being freshly laundered, and the smell put him off, and thanks to Papyrus’ terrible plan, Sans had to go on not just one date, but however many it took until Papyrus could enact his _Dark Knight in Shining Armor_ plan, and sweep you off of your feet.

Without even thinking about it, he appeared in front of Grillby’s, and pushed open the doors.

Sitting at the stool next to his usual spot, was you, wearing something that was pretty cute, but definitely suited to Papyrus’ tastes. You were sipping a drink, and checked your phone, before looking back up, chewing your lip.

“heh, kinda pathetic.” He mumbled, but he wasn’t sure who he was calling pathetic, you or himself.

He ambled over to where you were, sliding onto his seat. Your anxious expression melted, replaced by a bright smile, sliding a bottle of mustard toward him, “I’m glad you _mustard_ up the courage to finally show.”

He grabbed the bottle, taking a deliberate blink as he processed what you said, then a wide grin stretched on his skull, and he replied without missing a beat, “heh, welp i _mayo_ be an asshole, but i would never stand a girl up.”

You clapped your hands with delight, your eyes sparkling, and he had to wonder why him? Why not Papyrus.

“but ya wanna know a guy who’s more stand up? my bro.” He started drinking the mustard, and shrugged, smiling softly.

“He is very passionate.”

“yep, boss is the coolest.”

You shrugged, wrapping your hands around your drink, “I dunno, you seem to sell yourself short.”

Sans glared, “what, ya makin’ a joke ‘bout my height?”

You blinked, taken aback, “What no! I, wasn’t even thinking about that! I meant, you’re so quick to put yourself down, and I don’t think you realize how awesome you are!” You started waving your hands around, cheeks flushed. “You’re so funny, and laid back, and I never hear you say good things about yourself, but there are so many good things about you, and you have such a cool aura about you, and just getting this chance to go on a date with you is like, so awesome, like I thought you wouldn’t even say yes, so I’m like crazy stoked and—”

“hey, calm down. yer fine, it’s fine.” He was a little amazed at the word vomit that had just happened, and you seemed to realize what had just happened, and covered your bright red face with your hands.

Oh man, you just made a complete and total fool of yourself in front of him. Way to make a good first impression on the date. He probably thought you were a total dweeb.

“just relax,” He flashed you a lazy smile, and waved a finger at Grillby who looked up, sizzling. “hey grillbz, can i have a double order of da burg?”

The purple fire elemental nodded, crackling before walking into the back room.

You looked at your drink, taking another sip, the alcohol slowly burning your throat on the way down. “

“How has your day been so far?” Oh my freaking lanta! Did you really just ask that? Ugh, c’mon girlie, surely you could think of a better ice breaker.

“it sucked balls,” he replied flatly. You blinked, mouth hanging slightly agape, did he really just say… it sucked balls? He blinked slowly a few times before shrugging, “uh, i mean paps was makin’ me binge watch this anime.”

“Sounds awful,” You nodded sagely, tone laced with sarcasm and amusement.

“it was awful,” he growled, remembering the first episode that Papyrus watched several times over, taking extensive notes, then going over to see if he missed everything. He had vowed to go through each episode to thoroughly comb through the information. If Sans could get that lame theme song out of his head, he would be in a much better mood.

The clink of plates being set before them broke him out of his revere. You eagerly reached for the burger, eyes lighting up after your first bite.

“Grillby, you are the gift from the heavens.” You murmured, and the purple fire elemental froze, staring at you.

When you realized he heard you, your cheeks caught on fire, and you lifted the burger up higher to cover your face. Sans started laughing, making you feel more embarrassed, as if you didn’t want to crawl under a rock bad enough.

“ya always say such weird stuff?”

Swallowing your bite you shrugged, “Is it bad to speak the good things I see in people?”

He nodded thoughtfully, “guess that’s why paps thinks so highly of ya.”

“He does?” You peaked over your burger, astonished. “He’s always giving be back handed compliments, so I thought he kept me around just because… well I mean, I’m happy to be his friend, but I could never get a feel of how he really felt about me.”

Several minutes passed with Sans staring at you, his eyelights gone, his expression void and creepy. “Sans, are you okay?”

The skeleton blinked, and nodded slowly, the reality of your words sinking in… _He’s always giving me back handed compliments… I could never get a feel of how he…felt about me._

Of course you never went for the boss! If you thought he just barely tolerated you, of course you would never consider anything romantic! That was common sense! You weren’t a dense human, Paps was just an idiot when it came to communication. Fixing this communication problem would be easy as long as Papyrus listened and was willing to change.

Surely in no time you would be fawning over him when he quit putting you down, and instead just told you how he really felt without hiding behind his defensive little comments.

“yeah, paps thinks you’re like the coolest human around.”

You snorted, a sly smile tugging at your lips, “ _Almost as cool as myself, the Great and Terrible Papyrus, but not quite human. Do not forget your place._ ” You winked, and an involuntary laugh escaped the skeleton before he could compose himself. Your impression was spot on, but also explained so much.

“oh man, he would flip the fuck out if he knew we were makin’ fun of him.”

“Oh jeez, you’re right.” you patted your cheeks, face flushed.

“but he is a pretty stand up guy, much better than me. i don’t know why ya didn’t ask him out.”

You tiled your head, giving him a quizzical look. “Why do I feel like you’re trying to hook me up with Papyrus?”

“what?” he raised his hands defensively, “i wouldn’t do that!”

“Really? Because you keep bringing him up.”

Sans swallowed, “uh no. i mean, I just… don’t understand why ya would like a guy like me when ya could have my brother.”

You laughed, before covering your mouth, looking down at your plate of food, “I think you got the wrong impression. Papyrus and I are just friends, and that’s it. If you’re worried about me getting mixed feelings, I can promise you, that won’t happen, but enough about him. Why don’t we find other things to talk about?”

“uh, yeah, right.” Sweat started beading his skull.

He should have known that manipulating you into dating his brother wouldn’t have been so easy.

The silence stretched between you, Sans shifting, trying to think of anything to say that didn’t involve Paps, and you were trying to think of a decent ice breaker. Summoning all of your courage, and licking your lips, you clenched your hands before laying them on the counter and turning your body toward him.

“So, a grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ‘Hey! We have a drink named after you!’ and the grasshopper says, ‘You have a drink named Steve?’” You forced a grin, and the skeleton just stared at you.

After a moment he let out a soft chuckle, “yer cute.” After the words left his teeth he froze, shit, was he supposed to compliment you? Was that going too far? Would that lead you on?

Heat flooded your cheeks, and you looked down, a small smile playing on your lips.

Eh, too late, gotta roll with it. “but hey, it’s getting boring in here, wanna go fer a walk?”

“Okay,” you slid off your stool, slipping your jacket on. You reached for your purse and started digging around for money when Sans turned to Grillby, “put it on my tab.  
“At least let me get tip,” You replied earnestly, and he shrugged, shoving his hands into his hoodie.

“whateva ya wanna do, doll.”

Your heart skipped at the nickname, and you threw down a generous tip before following Sans out the bar, the sounds of the bar cutting off as you broke through the threshold, and the cold air slapped you across the face.

* * *

Sans was more or less confused. He wasn’t really sure if this was a date, or just a one on one hang out friend session, where you both talked about things, and at one point you were cold, so he offered his hoodie because he was a skeleton and the cold when right through him anyway.

The way you stuttered and accepted his jacket after he offered the fifth time was pretty cute. Papyrus had interesting tastes in girls… He never thought his brother would be the type to go for the wholesome, innocent, self-sacrificing type, but after spending the evening with you, he could understand why.

You stood at the front door to your complex, and shimmied out of his hoodie, your hair a little messed up from taking it off.

“Um, thanks for the date. I had fun.” You smiled timidly, and he slipped his hoodie back on, shoving his hands in his pockets, and winking.

“me too, perhaps i should call ya for the next one?”

You bit your lip, looking at him demurely, “I look forward to that.”

Did you seriously enjoy tonight with him? He let out an uncomfortable chuckle, and rocked on his toes and back to his heels.

You looked around before ducking in and giving him a small hug, which completely took him by surprise, as he wasn’t expecting that.

“I’m sure it’ll be _sans_ ational… the um, next date I mean. I had fun, and um, can’t wait. Uh, bye!” You replied quickly before ducking into your apartment, face bright red.

Sans stood there, expression blank and eyesockets bottomless voids.

Inside your apartment, you shimmied out of your jacket, and shoes, and jumped onto the couch, grabbing the bowl of popcorn sitting on the cushion.

Sarah was watching a movie, her big blue eyes transfixed onto the screen.

“Ahem,” you said loudly. She didn’t blink so you said it louder, and louder until she finally paused the movie.

“How was your date?” She asked flatly.

“He bought dinner, although I was going to pay for it, and he let me wear his hoodie, and I hugged him at the end.”

“And?”

“He said he would text me for another date?” Your stomach fluttered at the thought of talking to him through text, especially after you ran away like you did.

She probed you for more details, until she finally nodded satisfied. “Well, I hope it works out. He seems to like you well enough from what you said, but I won’t be able to tell anything until I see him with you.”

You gasped, “What if we went on a double date! You could date Papyrus!”  
Sarah stared at you like you had grown a third eye.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I would like to think I’m a romantic,” You put a hand to your chest, blinking dreamily.

She gave you one long look before un-pausing the movie and shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Fine, be that way.” You sulked, slinking off to your room.

* * *

“Tell me the details of your date!” Papyrus held black notebook, his piercing gaze zeroed in on his shifting brother, who was sweating profusely.

“welp, it went pretty well… we talked about ya a little bit, took a walk, and i found out some good info ‘bout yer situation.”

“Very good, and was there any physical contact initiated between you two?”

“what, ‘course not boss! i would never make a move on yer girl!” Sans rose his hands defensively, and Papyrus’ gave narrowed on his brother as he tapped his pen against the table. “we just ate dinner, talked and walked. nuthin’ else happened.”

“So,” he quirked a brow, lifting his chin. “You did not even _hug_?”

“shit… well boss, that just kinda happened… uh… i can explain,” Sans stepped back as Papyrus stood up his full height, his boots clacking against the floor, looming over his brother, murderous aura in the air.

“i figured out why she’s not into ya!” Sans stated quickly, causing his older brother to pause. “she uh, she got mixed signals from ya. thought ya only wanted ta be her friend.”

“What?” Why would she ever think that!? I have been very clear with my intentions.”

“uh bro, maybe ya think ya have, but she doesn’t. ya need ta make yerself clear in a way she can see.”

Papyrus assumed a thoughtful pose, tapping his chin with a clawed finger. How would he make himself more clear to you? Any monster around obviously knew that he was pining for you, but you couldn’t understand him.

“I must watch more of that anime,” He stated, pulling out his phone and selecting Alphys contact.

Sans rolled his eyes, groaning, “fuck me.”

 

**BONUS: WHEN READER WAS TEXTING PAPYRUS... ON PAPYRUS' END**

Helping you get dressed caused a series of mixed emotions within Papyrus. He wanted to be helpful, and he enjoyed talking to you, but knowing that you were dressing up for Sans and not for him… it sat heavy in his soul.

The previous outfits you showed, were more of Sans tastes, and although he knew Sans wasn’t interested in you, he wanted to make sure he did everything within his power, to keep it that way.

When he received the final picture of you wearing the clothes he suggested with your makeup done how he directed…

He covered his face with his hand, his alabaster cheek bones now a deep crimson. You were just so adorable.

Just a little bit longer and it would be him; you would be dressing up for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I make this an official love triangle?


	4. Work date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus will model himself after the Princely character...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I going to do a love triangle? Don’t know yet. You’ll all find out after I make up my mind 
> 
> As of now I don't think we'll have polyamory. Mainly because for me poly = no conflict and I thirst for conflict. (~o.o)~  
> Also, had to re-write to work out of writers block... hopefully this chapter isn't rubbish?

Papyrus had devoured the anime that Alphys had recommended; pouring over it, studying it, learning from it. It was, after all, his ticket to overcoming this cursed friend-zone, and becoming the one you would admire. He hadn’t finished it of course because there was a lot of chapters to the manga, which he was borrowing, and only one season to the anime (although a season 2 has been recently confirmed), and the anime didn’t actually resolve anything in regards his romantic issue.

He identified with the princely character, who was superior in every way; looks, charisma, intelligence, physical prowess.

Sans kind of reminded him of the scruffy angry character, who was always trying to prove himself as the greatest, and you, you reminded him of the lovely protagonist of the anime; kind, gentle, and always thinking of others.

Sans words repeated in his mind, that he didn’t come across as interested, and some of his mannerisms may have led you to believe that he was not pining for you.

He had vowed to amend these, although he did not know where to begin, but that was no matter for the Great and Terrible Papyrus, for he saw this as a puzzle that could simply be solved with strategic planning.

He looked down at his note pad, he had noted the princely characteristics, and had decided that if he followed suit with this character, he would be successful in his endeavor.

He started toward your desk at work, you were staring down at the report in front of you, your expression pensive, and he knew, as a princely character it was his duty to bend an ear, and hear your troubles, no matter what they were. Shoulders squared, he started forward, determined to become the man, er, skeleton of your dreams.

You brushed your hair back from your face, trying to stuff your feelings of dejection into a deep dark hole in your mind. Although Sans had said he would text you, that was two days ago, and you hadn’t heard anything that since night. Maybe the date didn’t go over as well as you hoped…? Maybe you acted like a total dweeb, and now he just didn’t know how to let you down? You tapped your pen against the your work desk, letting out a sigh.

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t focus on your work, mind racing with thoughts of how you might of messed up your chances with Sans. You had contemplated asking Papyrus for advice, but you just weren’t sure how he would feel about that. His attitude about you dating his brother was… awkward to say the least. He seemed supportively unsupportive…?

Papyrus footsteps neared drawing your attention, and you sat up straighter, smiling pleasantly. He had a peculiar expression, his brows drawn, but his eyes were burning with an intensity you had never seen before.

“Human!” Papyrus stood tall in his work clothes, a black suit with a red tie, very flattering for his frame. “Are you ready to go?”

You nodded, gathering up a few papers into your bag, and followed him out.

You were so sure that everything went well, but perhaps you were misreading everything. You raised your hand to your chest, it feeling tight and heavy, and your head swirling with questions.

“Human, are you listening?” Papyrus’ harsh voice cut through your thoughts, and you looked up at him, blushing.

“I’m so sorry,” You looked away, your face burning with embarrassment, “I was, um, I was distracted.”

“Ah, yes…” Papyrus stated, then stopped his piercing gaze making your breath catch, and your stomach flutter, it was time to enact operation: Princely character. “If you, well,” He looked away, his cheeks tinting dark red, and you couldn’t help but think how cute he looked when he acted vulnerable. “If you, uh, would like to share your burdens with me, well, it is something I would, uh, tolerate.”

His soul fluttered when a gentle smile tugged on your lips, and your cheeks colored slightly.

“Um, I am so thankful for that… really.” You put your hand on his radius and ulna, and his soul started throbbing with excitement, magic flooding his cheekbones. “I,” you sighed, “I think I messed up with Sans.”

It felt like one of Undyne’s spears stabbed him through his core, and rage bubbled beneath the surface. He gritted his teeth and nodded, “Yes?”

“He said he would text me, but ah, well he said he would text, but” You covered your face, blushing, “he hasn’t. “

He turned away, clenching his fists. Watching your anguish bothered him, and stirred a righteous anger, but knowing that it was because of your feelings for Sans, caused a rage to bubble beneath his composure.

You watched the mixed emotions warring within your skeleton friend, and you gently placed your hand on his back, “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have put this on you.”

He whirled around, staring you down. “You have every right to be angry! You are a person of considerable interest, and to be disrespected like this is…!” He stomped his foot, “BY THAT LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING BROTHER OF MINE!” He bellowed, and stormed away, and you watched his retreating figure.

You your cheeks grow warm, your hands lightly resting on your glowing cheeks. You were a person of _considerable interest?_ Those words made your stomach flutter, and you couldn’t bring yourself to chase after him. “Why would he say something like that?” It confused you, but left you flattered. “Ah, look at me, getting so flustered. He only meant it as a friend,” You laughed nervously, and hurried after the fuming skeleton.

You both stopped at a work vehicle that was decaled with the logo of your company, and Papyrus opened the door, his bony cheeks dark red, and gaze adverted. You quietly thanked him, and slipped in, him shutting the door. With a few steps with his long legs, he was already at his door, and slipping in, easily climbing in with his lithe frame.

He braced his hands on the wheel, staring straight ahead.

“Are you okay?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, his chest heaving with a sigh before he turned on the car, and began driving.

“I am fine, human.” He said with a cool demeanor, but you could tell he wasn’t fine, and something was bothering him.

He stared out the window, easily navigating through the pathetic traffic. He had debated on telling you of his feelings, but then realized how un-princely that would be. He was to be a charming prince on a white horse to come and sweep you off your feet, and confessing how he felt about you was not the way to go about it. Instead he would slowly open himself up to you, and allow you to see the inner layers, and once you realized how he felt, you would confess your love.

“I know you want to say something,” Your gentle voice broke through the silence. “I know because,” You smiled fondly, “we’re friends. Friends know that about each other.”

His soul surged with joy as you smiled, your voice gentle and sweet like honey on his non-existent ears.

“I do not need to talk about my _feelings_ ,” He scoffed, and you rolled your eyes, an amused smile tugging at your lips. “But if I were to talk, it would be about how you deserve someone who knows your worth.”

What game was Papyrus playing at? “What kind of person would know my worth?”

“A princely character! Tall, dark, and handsome,” He smiled coyly, “Strong, and confident, and can keep a cool head in every situation, not to mention, popular with the ladies.”

“It sounds like you’re describing Mettaton,” You couldn’t help but grin. Mettaton was the last person you would ever consider in a romantic capacity. Papyrus’ grin fell, and scowling, he snapped his jaw shut.

“He could never appreciate you the way I-” He sucked in a breath of air, his face crimson all over again. “I was not describing _him_! I also was not describing Sans!” This was not going the way he wanted it to. He was trying to tell you that he, Papyrus was the right match for you. He was the right one, he was sure of it because he could feel it in his marrow, but here you were still enamored with his brother.

 _Ping_.

You pulled out your phone, a soft pink blush spreading across your cheeks, and a shy smile toying on your lips. He knew immediately who had texted by your reaction, and it made his soul throb painfully.

How could you not see him in the way he wanted you too? Why was it, you just couldn’t see, if you only gave him a chance, he could make you truly happy?

You looked up at him, resting your hand on his arm. “Papyrus, you really are one of my best friends. I am so thankful that you are my friend, and that you always have my best interest at heart.”

“Of course human! If I did not take this opportunity to assist you, it is quite obvious that you would fall into a pit of despair!” As soon as he said the words he mentally cringed. That was a _very_ un-princely thing to say. His eyes flitted over to you, but you were giddy, already typing back a reply to his lazy good for nothing brother.

 _That’s not true… he’s good at getting the girl you want._ His inner voice chided, and he started grinding his teeth, gripping the steering wheel with a death grip.

“Papyrus?” He snapped out of his rage fueled thoughts, and glanced at you, your hands resting in your lap, fidgeting with your fingers, big eyes open and vulnerable. “I was wondering,” You bit your lip in that endearing way that made his non-existent stomach flutter, “If maybe tomorrow you could go to the mall with me?”

Were you seriously asking him on a date? Shouldn’t he be the one asking? Oh, but then, you also asked Sans out… maybe this was a human custom of females initiating dates, which was weird. It did not matter! You had asked him out on a date, wait, it was a date right?

“Of course I’ll go on a date with you!”

You laughed nervously, giving him a puzzled look, “Uh, it’s a friend date I guess.”

Friend date?

“Well, you are just so fashionable, I was kind of hoping you could help me find the right clothes for my, uh, next date… with your…” Your voice grew quieter as you went on, your face turning bright red, “with, uh, your brother?”

.

.

.

Oh.

As the realization settled in, his knee jerk reaction was… surprisingly… nothing.

“Of course,” His tone fell flat his eyes fixated on the road. “As your _friend_ I will offer my services, you should be thankful!”

“I always am,” You replied sincerely, smiling warmly.

That was when the icy numbness turned into a stabbing sorrow, and he nodded stiffly. His phone buzzed, and he brought it up, his eyelights roving over the screen noting a text from his traitorous brother. Perhaps his plan of encouraging his brother to date his love interest was a terrible plan…?

 

**Sans:**

**i got ur back boss. tmrw u can m8k her :) & she fall 4 u**

 

Feeling smug satisfaction at Sans awesome wingman tactics, and feeling a surge of confidence, the edgy skeleton laughed. Papyrus’ plans were always the best, and aside from his brother’s abysmal text speech, Sans was right. Tomorrow, if he acted like a prince, he could enchant you and sweep you off your feet.

You watched Papyrus with amusement; watching him swing from emotion to the next emotion was a roller coaster ride in itself, and you kind of secretly hoped to yourself, that maybe some day, you would become close enough to him that he would open up to you, and you know why he went through so many emotions in such a short amount of time.

Yes, you were positive that you would become closer with Papyrus, only it would take time, and as he opened up to you, you could see the layers he so precariously hid.

The car pulled into a parking stall, and he turned the car off. He seemed deep in thought, and you felt kind of bad for interrupting, but you had a job to do, and you wanted the both of you to do well, since you worked at a team.

“Let’s do our best!” You turned to smile at him, clutching your bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NAME THAT ANIME! -seriously, take a guess!  
> Also, Papyrus actually reminds me of the scruffy tough character from the anime, but he's not very self-aware he would never notice it. 
> 
> Also, I'm excited for the 'Mall date?' chapter. 
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated!! (・`ω´・)


	5. Mall date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go to the mall, today, to-daaaay, to-daaaaayyy
> 
> *for reference please look up Robin Sparkles*

“Hey, what do you think?” You walked out, wearing a charcoal colored sweater dress with light grey leggings and black boots that came up past your calves with a black and light grey knit scarf and green jacket, and did a little twirl.

“You look cozy,” Sarah affirmed glancing up from her book before looking back down.

“Not cute?”

She shrugged eyes still on the pages, “eh.”

You let out a sigh, dragging your hand along your face. This outfit was not going to fly with Papyrus, that was for sure. Even though you two were going out, he had this thing about being impeccably dressed, and you had to keep up with this. There was only one way to solve this…

You went back into your room, stopping in front of your closet, swinging the doors open wide, feet braced and glanced at your clothes options.

Stepping back, you assumed a great and terrible pose, finger and thumb holding your chin, other hand cupping your elbow, “If I was the Great and Terrible Papyrus, what would I suggest?” You raised a brow and flashing a devilish smile. _“Human! If you want to associate with someone as awesome and terrible as me, you must dress as if you mean it! Cute and frilly is best suited, as it makes me look so much more intimidating!”_

“Ah ha!” You hit your hand into the palm of your fist, “Thank you Papyrus, I would be so lost without you!”

 _“Nyeh heh heh! Of course human, it is my duty to help your species as much as possible… you are not *completely* helpless!”_ You snorted with laughter, covering your mouth with the back of your hand. Mind made up on what to wear you reached for the outfit that would make your friend look terrible and great.

Fully changed, you strutted out again, and flashed Sarah a saucy over the shoulder wink. She looked up, a smile tugging at the corner of her lip. She held her book over her head like a point card.

“11!”

“Eleven?”

“Out of 10. The over the shoulder wink was a nice touch,” She smirked lowering her book, and you grinned and whipped your hair over your shoulder. “So, this is a date, right?”

“What,” you squeaked and shook your head, “No, we’re just friends. It’s like a friend date, totally platonic.”

She gave you a skeptical look, then pulled up her book, opening it, and shrugged. “Okay, if that ‘s what you say.”

Before you could retort, someone knocked on the door. You grabbed your purse, and gave her a level glare which she ignored, and swung open the door, stopping when you noticed how sharply dressed Papyrus was… not that he dressed slovenly before, but today he was looking extra spiffy, and you felt your stomach flutter, taking in his long black jeans, dark grey button up shirt exposing his sternum, and his black wool jacket unzipped, and was that cologne you smelled? He was braced hand on his hip, head turned to the side; and you stood gaping, never realizing how attractive your friend was.

And that was weird because you didn’t like him. Yes, you were simply admiring how handsome he was! Platonically of course. You could feel Sarah’s smug judging gaze on your back, and your eyes locked with Papyrus, his expression softening, and he flashed you a suave and confident smile.

“Well, well, well, human!” His confident expression shifted into a smug one, “You look quite, uh,” A light dash of red splashed his cheeks, “well, you look, uh…” What the heck? This was like some cliché anime, and and when you flashed a look at Sarah she was grinning smugly, and waggling her eyebrows.

With a huff, you reached for Papyrus’ arm, tugging him down the hall, “Papyrus! Let’s go!”

“Wha… Human! What is the rush?” He sounded a little flustered.

“I’m just really excited to uh,” Your voice was an octave higher and you forced a calming breath through your nose, willfully ignoring the blush that was burning your cheeks. “I don’t think we’ve been to the mall together! I’m just really excited to spend the day with you!” Should you tell him that Sarah thought you two were on a date? No, that would be crazy awkward, since you two were very platonic friends. You stopped at the exit, and flashed him a nervous smile. “Um, I forgot to ask, but what car do you want to take?”

“Mine of course!” Papyrus turned on heel, walking away. You trotted after him, smiling helplessly as he led you to his car. He opened your door, avoiding your gaze, cheeks still red, foot tapping impatiently.

You flashed him a thankful smile, and thanked him sincerely which me muttered something under his breath, and you slid into your seat. He strode around his car, and slid into his seat with the grace of cat, his buckle clipping into place.

His car smelled of cologne, and you had to admit that you actually liked it. You weren’t generally a fan of cologne, the smell usually nauseating, but his was subtle, pleasant, ~~attractive~~ , okay this was kind of weird. Your brain needed to quit sending mixed signals, Papyrus obviously liked you as a friend, and it was mutual, and you had a thing for his brother.

So yeah, there were things you found attractive about Papyrus, that didn’t mean you _liked_ him. He dressed sharp, what girl wouldn’t like that? He drove a sexy car, well, that was just a superficial thing. The way he talked to you, and treated you spoke volumes. He liked you as a human friend, and that was good because you liked him as a monster friend; who had awesome makeup tips, fashion advice, and was generally amusing to talk to.

Anyway, you were pretty sure he was gay… and that he had thing for that robot star from the underground, Mettaton.

Why were you even thinking about all of this? Jeez, you’re so weird.

“Y-you look nice.” His gravelly voice broke through the silence in the car.

Your breath caught in your chest as you felt a light warmth in your cheeks, your head whipping to look at him, “I look nice?” Did Papyrus just compliment you?

“For a human! I mean! What you’re wearing now is far superior then that abysmal charcoal sweater dress you seem to wear so often which is _not_ cute at all!” He replied gruffly, his face growing steadily redder.

Phew, Sarah made a good call then.

“Well, I like it because it’s comfortable,” Maybe Sans wouldn’t mind you wearing your favorite sweater dress? He didn’t seem to be into the whole fashionista thing unlike Papryus, which was kind of weird when you thought about it. The text he sent you was pretty clear that he wanted you to dress to the nines, although he seemed like the kind of guy you could show up in pajamas and he’d be cool with it.

You shrugged off the thought, understanding that there wasn’t much about Sans that you didn’t know. That was dating was all about, learning about the person and seeing if you wanted to go further, or just leave it alone.

* * *

You didn’t know where to begin, but Papyrus did. He dragged you into a dress shop, and immediately started sifting through the racks, muttering about colors and cuts that would flatter your body type.

You saw a really cute mint green pencil dress with splashes of grey and black, and held it up, grinning. He blinked once, took it from your hands, put it back on the rack and turned around to resume digging for the ideal dress.

“Hey, I really liked it!” You reached for it again, and he smacked the top of your hand, and shoved a midnight blue dress that was dusted with silver shimmer material that was a halter top cut, with a cinched waist.

“You lack the proper hip girth to support a pencil dress, it would simply make you look like a stick, and mint green would make you look like a leprechaun,” he replied easily, and waved to the dress in your arms. “This one though would make you look full figured, the blue would bring out your eyes. If you want to look elegant, this is what you should wear.”

You looked at it again, frowning. “Okay, I’ll go try it on.”

He nodded, and turned to look through more racks. “I will keep searching incase it not what you are looking for, but I highly doubt you’ll find anything better.” He replied haughtily. You chanced a glance over your shoulder, noting he was engrossed in his hunt and snagged the green dress anyway, giddily scampering into the dressing room. “Human!” you heard him roar, and you snickered.

Once in the dressing room, you slipped out of your clothes and into the green dress you were so enamored with. Once fully on, and wrestling with the zipper, a snort escaped as you laughed.

“Human? Is everything okay?” He sounded unsure, and you opened the door, and struck a pose. His eyes boggled for a moment before he redirected his gaze, shaking his head. “Didn't I warn you, that dress is disgusting.”

“Yes, but I still wanted to see.” You batted your eyelashes, and he gave a annoyed glare, but you saw a twinge of a smile on his skull. You closed the door and shimmied out of the dress, slipping it onto the hanger and reached for the elegant one he chose. Sliding it on, you reached behind you, but was unable to reach the zipper, no matter how much you twirled.

“Papyrrruuuusss,” You beckoned, and heard him approach, his boots clicking against the floor a sure sign he was there.

“Yes human?”

“I need your help with my dress, if that’s okay.”

He let out a little bit of a grumble, and you opened the door, peaking your head out, smiling coyly. He looked down at you, his cheeks tinted a faint red, arms crossed. “Pretty please, mighty and great, and awful and terrible Papyrus?”

The red on his cheek bones spread all over his face, and his eye boggled before he coughed, adverting his gaze.

“V-very well human, since you begged so p-pathetically.” His voice sounded strained, and waving his arm for you to turn around. You bounced eagerly, turning your back to him, glancing up to the mirror in front of you.

His hands hovered over your shoulders, his expression thoughtful before he pulled himself out of his thoughts, reaching down gingerly, pulling up the zipper to the dress he had so carefully picked, knowing how well it would compliment you. He had to admit, today you looked especially cute, and next to him, you two a very attractive couple.

Most of the things you were interested in were things he picked up easily enough. Make up tutorials were easy enough with Mettaton’s guide to flawless make up, which he had memorized. Accessorizing was easy enough, and something he had enjoyed himself; of course his favorite accessories were technically illegal. Apparently carrying around weapons of mass destruction happened to frighten the citizens above ground, so he unfortunately had to put them in his armory.

Terrorizing others was the whole point of having weapons of mass destruction, but they lived in a different world now… one where Papyrus could not worry about keeping himself and his brother alive, but instead he could pursue his love.

“How do I look?” You stuck a confident pose, giving Papyrus the same saucy wink you gave Sarah earlier. 

Papyrus’ breath caught in his non-existent lung, and he turned his head away scoffing. “Well human, it turns out perhaps you are capable of meeting me at my standards.”

You turned around taking in a long glance of your full form, nodding your head slightly. The dress was very flattering, hugging all of your curves the right way, making you look elegant and classy. Was this the kind of dress that Sans wanted you to wear? Slipping into the dress room, you closed the door, and stripped down, before re-dressing yourself.

Draping the dress on your arm, you walked out of the dressing room to stand in front of Papyrus, and glanced down, pulling up the price tag. You felt your stomach drop, “Oh, it’s too much. Let’s look in the clearance section.”

“Ridiculous,” Papyrus plucked the dress out of your arms, and strode over to the register, slamming the dress onto the counter, startling the employee. “I would like to buy this.”

“Papyrus,” you squeaked, latching onto his arm. He paused for a moment, his eyes darting to your hands that were secured around his arm, and you quickly released him, cheeks flushing. “It’s too much, it’s fine.”

“Do you like the dress?” He asked coolly, and you nodded feebly, holding your hands up defensively.

“Yes, but that is too much.”

“If you like it, you should be able to get it. I would not pick something out that you couldn’t have.” He snapped, before turning back to the employee, and handed over his card. “I may be terrible, but I have class.”

Your cheeks were on fire, partly from embarrassment, and partly from shame. It was strange that he was buying a dress for a date with his brother. Did he perhaps want you to date his brother that bad? Before you could think further into it, he had finished the transaction, and you were following him out the store.

“What would you like to do now?” He looked down at you, and when you looked up, you couldn’t help but notice how attractive he looked right then. Was it weird to find your friend so attractive…?

“We could try this new place in the food court. It’s called Pho, they have really good boba drinks?” You offered, smiling shyly.

Just because you acknowledged that Papyrus was attractive wasn’t a bad thing, it was allowing yourself to develop feelings that would be bad, which also would be weird anyway because he was your friend. You two were friends.

Yes, you were thinking too much into this, and it’s probably Sarah’s fault anyway. With her always insinuating that Papyrus likes you more probably has your subconscious thinking about it. You were going to have to ask her to stop teasing you about that since it was starting to mess with you.

“What drink would you recommend?” Papyrus was staring thoughtfully at the board, “I mean, I need to find a drink that would suit my great and terrible tastes.”

“Ah yes,” You nodded sagely, already regaining composure. “This is quite a dilemma,” Your eyes drifted toward him, and he was studying the list of flavors with such an intensity you couldn’t repress the smile tugging on your lips. “If I were great and terrible, I would choose this one.” You pointed to the Plum flavor, knowing that happened to be his favorite fruit.

“Of course! That would be the most suitable flavor for me to choose.” He replied confidently, and motioned over one of the workers. “Employee, I demand you make me this delicious drink with the plums and the bobas!”

You held back a snicker as the guy behind the counter gave your dear skeleton friend a look of disbelief, and you spoke up.

“One taro drink with boba, and one plum with boba, please.” You smiled sweetly, and the guy nodded, turning away before giving Papyrus one last look of disbelief. “So, after we get our drink anywhere else you want to go?”

“Of course we need to find shoes to go with the dress,” He replied haughtily. You nodded shyly, remembering all too well that he paid an obscene amount of money for your dress. Even as a friend that was kind of odd. You both talked about stores you wanted to go to, and shortly after that the employee returned with both drinks made.

You had pulled out your wallet, but before you could give him your money, Papyrus was handing over his card.

“Papyrus!” You were a blushing mess. It honestly felt like a date with him paying for everything, and it was kind of weird because you were supposed to be dating his brother.

He smirked at you, holding out your drink. Rolling your eyes you reached for it, but he pulled it back letting out a deep chuckle.

Just when you thought your face couldn’t be more red, he proved you wrong. You pressed your lips together, and made for another grab, but he easily held your drink above your head, using his god like height to his full advantage, while sipping on his.

“Sigh, if only you didn’t come short of my expectations,” He rolled his eyes feigning annoyance.

Your anger immediately dissipated, a smile of disbelief tugging at the corner of your mouth. “Did you just make a pun?”

A dark and sinister grin stretched his face, “I like to pun-ish my victims.”

“Oh my stars!” You let out a little chuckle, and he laughed with you. “I absolutely love it!” His smile softened, his cheekbones dusted a deep red, as he handed you your drink, which you started sipping.

Taro flavor was… well, it was what you expected it to be. “Do you want to try some?” You held up your drink, and you saw his eyes narrow before he quickly regained his composure, and cleared his throat, before looking down to you.

Your expression showed sincerity, so you did mean to offer some of your drink. Did you even realize that if he were to sip off of your straw that would be an indirect kiss? If he were to take this opportunity, it would mean, after he sipped your drink, you would then put your lips on your straw, thus indirectly kissing him.

“O-of course!” He mentally cringed, wondering hy did stuttered. The princely character does not stutter!

You offered your drink which he took, and brought the straw to his mouth, his soul fluttering with anxiousness. The flavor was mild, sweet and kind of milky. He looked at the purple drink and then you, your eyes wide open and prying. It was not what he was expecting, but it was pleasant. He took another sip, contemplating the taste before handing it back to you.

“What did you think?” You asked earnestly, and he realized then, you cared what he thought.

“It was… not what I was expecting.” He started carefully, how would a princely character handle this next sentence. “It is a taste that suits you.” Yes, very good. His studying was paying off.

A peel of laughter slipped out and he stared at you indignantly, why were you laughing. What he said was honest, it was a subtle and charming, very much like yourself!

“Alright, my turn. I want to try yours.” You held out your hand expectantly, but he was still reeling from the fact that you were laughing at him? Or was it what he said? Were you making a mockery of him?

Wait.

You wanted to try his drink? He looked down, a little uncertain, but masked it with a contemplative look.

“Unless you’re not comfortable sharing.” You stepped forward, looking up at him through your eyelashes, with your concerned and heartfelt gaze, and he felt his soul pound in his ribcage. Flustered, he shoved his drink in your hand.

“Of course I’m comfortable sharing! I’m comfortable doing many things!” Papyrus attempted his recovery.

You gave him a cautious look, “You sure?”

He nodded, “Of course I am sure! The Great and Terrible Papyrus is always sure!” He watched with rapt fascination as your lips secured around his straw, as you sipped his drink. He could see your cheeks pucker, and you swallow before handing his drink back.

“It’s very strong; uh, sweet and sour.” You looked at your drink, chewing your lip. “A very Papyrus like drink,” You teased and he glared, feeling embarrassment and a little bit of joy. He was impressed and flattered that you did know him so well, it attested to his ability to discern people that were worth his time. He was very fortunate to befriend someone like you, who did care deeply about him, even if it wasn’t the way he had hoped.

But soon, perhaps that would change… He was always observing you, but not in a creepy way because he had standards. He enjoyed watching your reaction to things, the way your eyes would drift about, reading your thoughts on your face, the softness of your expressions.

Like right now, you pulled out your phone, finger swiping when you looked up suddenly, eyes shining brightly, and a smile that made his soul sing.

“Let’s take a picture!” You didn’t wait for him to agree before stepping next to him, and pulling him down, linking your arm with his, and pulling out your phone. You grinned wide, “Hey, smile!”

“I’m a skeleton; we’re always smiling,” He retorted naturally, and you started to laugh, snapping the picture.

Straightening up, you looked at it satisfied. “Perfect, you’re a natural.” A few taps later the picture was posted. “I’m tagging you in it.”

“How long does it take to post a picture?” He rolled his eyes, hand on his hip. It never took him this long so he was slightly agitated. Not that you usually spent a lot of time on your phone, but today was special, and he wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. The longer you were distracted, the less chance he had to show you how princely he could be.

“Sorry, I really liked it and was putting it as your contact photo, and my background.” You replied apologetically, stuffing your phone in your purse.

You… put it as your background? Joy and elation surged, and he quickly masked it with cool indifference while making a mental note to tell Sans what happened. Progress!

“Hey, let’s check out this new shop that just opened up!”

* * *

You walked through your apartment door, and Sarah was still on the couch exactly where you left her, still engrossed in her book.

“How was your date?” She didn’t even bother to look up from her book.

“Yeah, about that. You really need to quit teasing, it’s starting to mess with me.” You were kicking off your shoes, and sliding out of your jacket. “But we had fun, it’s funny, but it really did feel like a date... I feel like I’m getting to know Papyrus in a whole new light.”

“Mhmm,” She wasn’t even paying attention.

“Yeah, we totally made out. Hot and heavy, in his car. Did I mention hot?”

“That’s great,” Her enthusiasm was very misguided.

“We’re getting married and I’m pregnant, twins.” You chirped eagerly, watching her with an amused expression.

“Mmm, yeah…”

You rolled your eyes, and walked into your room before throwing yourself onto your bed, and pulling out your phone, staring at the wallpaper of your phone, you laughing and Papyrus smiling, his eyes focused on you. You understood why Sans spoke so highly of his brother. He really was an great and awesome person… and not as terrible as he thought, not that that was a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Roommate is based off of an actual roommate I had for 3 years. She was amazing, cake sacrifices and all.


	6. Comedy Date??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's our ever so special date with Sans :) What can go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you all are wondering why I take so long to update this; responsibilities… Also, I was taking time to think about how I wanted to pull off the whole thing. I mean… had an idea of how I wanted it to go down, but in writing it, the execution added elements that make the initial plot a little more complicated to carry out…
> 
> Who knew ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

You pranced about your room in your towel singing to Pentatonix with much passion. Tonight was your date with Sans, and you couldn’t be more excited, his vague texting filled with winky faces only adding to the excitement. You couldn’t help but think he had something absolutely phenomenal planned, and you couldn’t wait… especially given the fact that you had a killer dress to wear – shout out to Papyrus the Terrible!

 

The care you took to style your hair, and pin it up left your arms aching but was totally worth it as long as your hair didn’t fall flat, and Papyrus had forwarded some killer makeup tips which you gladly utilized. Matching earrings – check. Strappy heels – check. Shawl… shoot, where was that?

 

A knock on you door halted you mid search for the last item of your ensemble. Wait, oh dang, what about your clutch? “Yeah?”

 

“Sans here,” Sarah said through the door, “You almost done?”

 

“Uh, yeah. Just looking for my clutch and shawl.”

 

“Mmm, oh, you let me borrow those, remember?”

 

“Oh yeah,” You strode towards the door, opening it up. “Any chance I can have them back.”

 

“’Course. Just gimme a sec.” She flashed you a smile before heading to her room. One last look in the mirror, making sure that everything was perfect, and you hit the light switch, starting for the living room.

 

Sans was sitting on the couch, his back toward you, and the butterflies in your stomach started dancing around. Upon hearing your approach he turned around, his grin faltered and a handsome red dusted his cheekbones as he scratched the back of his head.

 

He had always thought you were kind of cute, and definitely Paps type of girl, but for a brief moment he had entertained the idea of maybe allowing himself to take you for himself, before violently shoving that thought into the darker recesses of his mind. He didn’t expect you to look so stunning, and he admitted to himself, as he freely allowed his eyelights to roam your body, that he was the one you had chosen… it would be so easy to woo you… but he promised Paps that he’d help him get your heart, and anyway, girlfriends were so much work.

 

“wow, ya clean up real nice.”

 

Your cheeks flushed, a shy smile tugging on your lips your hands folded demurely in front of you. “Thank you, you uh, look very nice yourself.” Your hand waved towards him before retreating to the safety of your grasp. Sans looked down at his three piece pin stripe suit and red dress shirt that paps made him wear before looking back up and flashing his signature smirk and wink™.

 

Of course his bro would freak out if he saw that Sans had loosened his black tie already, and folded his shirt up past his radius and ulna, but his bro wasn’t here, and Sans felt less stuffy this way.

 

“ya ready to head out doll?” The blush on your cheeks darkened, and you nodded before your eyes widened and you looked to your roommates door.

 

“Oh, my clutch and shawl?”

 

As if on cue, your roommate walked out, black shawl and sliver clutch in hand, and handed them over to your wordlessly. You shoved your phone, id, credit cards in the clutch, then wrapped your shawl around your shoulders, approaching Sans.

 

You stood several inches taller than him, your heels only making it more obvious, but you weren’t superficial to get hung up on height… but would Sans be bothered by it? Obviously he wasn’t, otherwise he wouldn’t be giving you a chance to date him!

 

“I’m ready,”

 

“cool, let’s go.” He started for the front door, holding it open, and you thanked him walking through.

 

Exiting the apartment complex, you realized that you had no idea what kind of vehicle Sans drove, so this was a neat moment to get an idea of his character and what type of vehicle he would choose.

 

“A Toyota Yaris?” You raised an eyebrow, looking over at him and he smiled sheepishly, ducking into the car. You followed suit, pulling your dress in, then closing the door.

 

“’s a rental. i don’t have a car.” You raised an eyebrow, imploring him to continue. “i drive a bike, ok? i doubt ya would wanna ride a bike in this weather, ‘specially with yer dress, yeah?”

 

You grinned and nodded, “Yeah, so I’m guessing Papyrus would never let you borrow his Lamborghini?”

 

“hell no. he wouldn’ even let me drive it!” He barked out a cynical laugh, “he won’t let anyone drive it, let alone ride around in it.”

 

You didn’t realize it, but you were giving Sans a hard look. Papyrus wouldn’t let anyone, even his brother drive his car?? That didn’t make sense because one time you mentioned in passing that you wanted to learn stick and you spent that evening with Papyrus while he coached you through how to drive a stick shift. Of course you weren’t allowed to leave the parking lot, and you quit long before he was ready to, but that was due to you being nervous and not wanting to hurt his car.

 

Not to mention he was always giving you rides whenever you both had to go somewhere that wasn’t work related (work issues required company car).

 

“what’s with the funny look, sweetheart?”

 

Funny look? “Um,” You looked down for a moment, studying your hands as they lay in your lap. “What do you mean, Papyrus would give anyone rides?”

 

Sans grin stretched, his eyes crinkling mirthfully. “unless yer real special to boss, y’know what I mean?”

 

You met his look in earnest, and shook your head, “We’re really good friends. Like best friends.”

 

His smile fell a bit, his eyelights looking down for a moment before meeting yours again, bright and focused. “look, ‘m gonna tell ya straight. boss don’t take to humans, s’pecially as a friend. if he’s fond of ya, it’s deeper than ya think.”

 

Deeper than you thought? That Papyrus liked you… romantically? You repressed a chuckle, a wry smile twisting your lips and looked away. Obviously Sans didn’t know his brother very well if he thought Papyrus was romantically interested in you… If Papyrus had feelings for you, he would never let you date his brother. Never. He would protest it, telling you all the reasons why he was the superior skeleton, and then attempt to woo you by forcing you on a date.

 

Everything Papyrus has done up to this point has only been encouragement towards you dating his brother, so obviously Sans had no idea what he was talking about. “Why do I get the feeling that you keep trying to make me interested in Papyrus, is this like a monster thing, or a skeleton thing?”

 

“wha? no, I’d never do that, sweetheart.” He replied a little too quickly, sweat breaking out on his skull as his eyes shifted. “oh wow, look at the time. we gotta get goin!” He started up the car, peeling out of the parking spot.

 

* * *

 

Pulling up to a comedy club, Sans parked the car, and you both exited, as you shut the door you hurried to Sans who was already on the sidewalk. You walked beside him wondering what he had planned, and as you got to the door, he opened it, walking through, keeping his arm out so that you could catch it to get in.

 

The warmth of the building rushed past you to mix with the cold winter air, the door softly swinging close behind you.

 

It was funny, but if Papyrus was here, he would have rushed to your door and opened it, and then he would have held the door open for you, while huffing indignantly about your turtle pace; an impatient gentleman.

 

You shook your head, wondering why you were comparing the brothers. That was a silly thing to do. So Sans didn’t hold doors… that wasn’t a deal breaker.

 

“so, i’ve got a gig t’nite. i got ya a good seat right ‘ere, so when i go up, just sit pretty. ok?” He pulled out a chair for you, grinning wide.

 

“Okay… when do you go up?”

 

 _“And our next performance is Sans the Skeleton!”_ The MC announced, and Sans flashed you a shark like grin, and shot finger guns at you before ducking off toward the stage.

 

You slowly slipped into your seat, trying to hide your anxiety, hoping that his show wouldn’t be too long.

 

“hey, ya guys doin’ good tonight?” Sans nodded to the audience and was met with a few cheers. “i just wanted ta say this place really reminds me of my childhood. bare brick walls, stale beer, and people laughin’ at me. “ He grinned wide, holding the mike while walking with a swagger.

 

“gotta say, some of the audience is pretty cute.” He flashed a wink towards a girl who laughed, and you stared, mouth gaping like a fish.

 

“What would you like to drink?” The server drew your attention away from the stage, and you barely were able to say what you wanted before he disappeared.

 

“so, the other night i was eatin’ out, and when i went ta the bathroom, on the wall someone wrote _“if you want a good time call this number,”_ so i did. it was ta a fuckin’ pettin’ zoo. it was pretty awesome. they had ducks.”

 

You listened as he continued with his gig. Twenty minutes later, he was going strong into his set, and you were getting a little hangry. To remedy that issue you ordered appetizers, but it was hard to hide your annoyance. You heard your phone ping, but hesitated to reach for it. You were on a date after all… kind of…

 

After a minute you heard another ping, and finally retrieved your phone.

 

**Papyrus: Human! How is your date going?**

 

You chewed your lip thoughtfully, letting out a little sigh.

 

**You: It’s going.**

He immediately responded.

 

**Papyrus: That is all? It is just “going?”**

A crooked smile tugged at the corner of your mouth, a warm feeling swirling in your chest.

 

**You: Sans is doing a stand up gig. IDK if this really counts as a date… I’m having more interaction with my server lol. ~~He’s flirting with the girls in audience… it’s kind of weird.~~**

****

You struck the last bit of text. Papyrus didn’t need to know that.

 

**Papyrus: Are you having a good time?**

Not really… but you didn’t want to be a downer with Papyrus. He really cared for Sans and he would probably be upset if you said anything that was negative.

 

**You: Yeah, it’s awesome seeing Sans in his element.**

 

Papyrus didn’t text back, and Sans jokes were teetering on the offensive line, and you found yourself staring off into the distance.

 

It had been over an hour, and you honestly had no idea if Sans was ever going to stop. He was still going strong, and you were ready to go. This wasn’t a date so much as it was him taking you to a show so he could flirt, say borderline offensive things, and ignore you when he was the one that asked you out.

 

Growing impatient you waved over a server, “How much longer will Sans be on the stage?”

 

The server checked his watch then looked up at you, smiling. “I’m not sure, but we’re about to have an intermission.”

 

“Oh, okay. Thanks.”

 

_“We’re going to take a quick break.”_

 

The house lights lightened up, and Sans sauntered to the table, taking a seat.

 

“how did ya like my performance?” He waggled his eyebrows and you smiled tightly.

  
“It’s great,” You tried to make your voice sound peppy. “So, you’re doing this for the rest of the night?”

 

“ya, ain’t it great?” He loosened his tie, and popped one of the onion bloomers into his maw. “mmm, that’s a good choice. ya can order food if ya want since i’m gonna be on stage all night.”

 

“Oh, okay.” You replied softly, a tight feeling settling in your chest as you forced a smile.

 

The house lights dimmed a few times, and Sans winked at you before sauntering back to the stage, and immediately began flirting with another girl in the audience.

 

Yeah, you were done.

 

Would Paps be mad if you text him to pick you up? No, you couldn’t bother him like that, even if he was your friend, he was Sans’ brother. It wasn’t too cold outside; you could make it home, or take a bus or something. You beckoned the server over again, requesting the check.

 

Once that was paid, you quietly slipped out of the establishment, thankful for the dark cover.

 

Wrapping your arms around your torso, you headed out into the snowy night, blinking back tears of disappointment. This definitely went under _Worst Date Ever_.

 

* * *

 

“an then i was tellin’ this broad-“ Sans line was cut off as a server came to the edge of the stage.

 

“You have a phone call.” The server held a cordless phone.

 

Sans rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath as he grabbed the phone holding it to his skull.

 

“THE HUMAN WILL NOT ANSWER MY TEXTS!”

 

“boss, this isn’t the time ta be callin’ me…” His voice faltered as his eyelights settled on to the table where he had put you; the one that another server had just sat a couple. “shit.”

 

“SANS! DO NOT USE PROFANITIES WHILE CONVERSING WITH ME!”

 

“boss, she left. ya try ta get a hold o’ her, an i’ll go look for her. “ He handed the phone back to the employee before heading back to the mike. “sorry folks, i gotta cut my act short. just a tip, if ya take a girl to a comedy show, make sure ya ain’t the one performin’. they all think your jokes are funny until yer on stage.”

 

He slipped the mike back into the stand, and ran off the stage. Why wouldn’t you call Papyrus to pick you up? It was dangerous walking home in the dark, especially dressed as you were!

 

He pulled out his phone, and dialed your number. He was sent to voicemail. You rejected his call! He laughed bitterly, shaking his head.

 

* * *

 

You put your phone on silent, your feet slowly going numb as you walked along the sidewalk that was lightly dusted with snow. You were thinking back through all the events with Sans, trying to remember if you were seeing the signs because you really wanted too, or if he was actually genuinely interested.

 

No. If he was interested, he wouldn’t have dragged you to a comedy club to ignore you, and flirt with the girls. It was probably part of the act, but it still put you off. It would have been different if he gave you a heads up, but to put in text that tonight was going to be such a great night, and going on and on about how much fun you were going to have only to ignore you for the rest of the night.

 

That wasn’t a date.

 

Once you were tired of walking you would call Sarah to pick you up, but the cold air was refreshing and helping to clear your thoughts… sort of. You had already cried a little bit, and were probably going to cry a little bit more.

 

Maybe you should call her now? It would take her like a half hour to find you. You pulled out your phone, and your stomach dropped.

 

“Oh no, not now!” You pushed the power button, only for the dreaded battery icon to flash.

 

How did your phone die? Didn’t you charge it before you left? You bit your lip, blinking back more tears, holding your phone to your chest. Great, just great! You were not dressed to handle this kind of weather, and now your phone was dead, and you walked out on your _date_ with Sans and couldn’t get a hold of anyone! There was only one solution to your problem.

 

Swallowing your pride, you started back toward the venue. Surely they had a phone you could borrow… except you didn’t know Sarah’s phone number. Oh my lanta… you were going to have to suffer through Sans entire comedy skit like some poor reject date just so he could take you home.

 

You squared your shoulders, tilting your chin up. Yes, you would go back and you would be fantastic. So what if he ignored you, it didn’t determine your worth, and all it proved was that he wasn’t worth your time!

 

“stop!” Sans voice called out behind you. “shit, why the hell did ya leave like that? ya wouldn’t take my calls, and yer walkin’ around like this? ya wanna get mugged?”

 

Your fleeting moments of confidence dithered upon confrontation, and as you turned, he was already in front of you, his bony phalanges, inches from you before he paused, and retreated, his cheek bones dusting red.

 

“fuck, ya were cryin’?” He scratched the back of his skull, adverting his gaze.

 

“Take me home.” You replied coldly. A small part of you was leaning towards justifying why you left, and another part of you wanted to tell him why you were crying, but the resolved part of you just wanted to go home and delete his number from your phone.

 

That voice was the loudest, and you relented to it.

 

He blinked in surprise, his one hand reaching out for you, and you stepped back starring him down.

 

“Just take me home.”

 

“wow, ya breakin’ it off with me? after all the trouble i went ta, and-”

 

“If you were going to treat me like dirt, you could have just said no. I didn’t need your pity dates, and whatever. You didn’t have to go through all the trouble of stringing me along only to ignore me. So, did you do this just for kicks and giggles? What was it, an ego boost? God, and Papyrus encouraged us, so obviously he thought it was hilarious too! Let’s mess with the human! Let’s make her think she has a chance and then make her miserable. Ha ha ha ha! You guys are so funny! You know what?! Forget it, I don’t want a ride from you.

 

“I would rather have my toes fall off from frost burn _and_ get mugged before taking a ride from a jerk like you!” You spat, and spun around on your heel, and stomped away.

 

Sans grabbed your arm, and you jerked away from him, falling onto the sidewalk, the snow melting on your dress, your clothes now wet and freezing. Hot and angry tears blinded your vision and blinked them back with a vengeance.

 

“Don’t touch me!” “stop.”

 

“Leave me alone!” The tears slipped down your face, leaving trails of freezing ice down your cheeks.

 

“please listen ta me.”

 

“Just go away,” You muffled a sob.

 

“yer not some joke.” He said softly, kneeling in the snow next to you, putting his jacket over your shivering shoulders. “’s… ‘s complicated…”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“just… listen,” his pleading voice was met with pathetic sniffles. “god, boss is gonna kill me.” he muttered almost too low to be heard before heaving a sigh. “boss really likes ya. he likes ya a lot, but…” His eyelights shifted up toward the sky and you could tell he was thinking about what he wanted to say. “he wants ya ta be happy? yeah, so even though he likes ya, like a lot, he would do the kinda things to make ya happy… like lettin’ ya date his brother.”

 

You blinked, the anger that was swirling inside of you slowly being replaced with confusion.

 

“He likes me?” You looked Sans, meeting his red gaze with your own.

 

He nodded, “he _likes_ ya.”

 

You felt your breath catch, the gravity of his words sinking in. Papyrus liked you? Since when? For how long? Why didn’t he say anything?

 

“my brother isn’t the exactly the best at sayin’ what he’s feelin’.”

 

It all made sense; Sans always, and you mean always, talking about his brother, and then taking you on a crappy date. He was trying to shut the door on your feelings for him? Ugh, you couldn’t stand it when people tried to manipulate you.

 

“Then why did you accept my invitation to Grillby’s? You realize how awful it is that you tried to manipulate my feelings?”

 

He shrugged and smiled apologetically, “i thought i could get ya ta fall fer the boss.”

 

You slowly shook your head, eyeing him with disbelief, “You can’t make me fall for anyone. It’s my choice about who I want to like, and honestly I really don’t appreciate the fact that you thought I could be so easily manipulated.” You let out a sigh, “You know what. I’m just done. Take me home.”

 

“heh, ok. ‘m sorry fer what its worth.”

 

The sounds of snow crunching beneath a car drew both your gazes, as a black Lamborghini pulled up, the passenger side window rolling down.

 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING ON THE GROUND?”

 

You jumped up, brushing off the soggy snow, and Sans easily lifted himself to his feet.

 

“HUMAN, YOU WILL FREEZE TO DEATH. COME INSIDE AT ONCE.”

 

You glanced back at Sans and he lifted his hand in a lazy wave. Papyrus had already gotten out of the car, and was opening the passenger door, his eyes settling on the soggy part of your dress.

 

“ONE MOMENT,” And he leaned down into the car, laying out a towel on the seat, then tenderly secured his gloved hand around your frigid fingers, gently guiding you into his car, giving you a soft smile. You watched him in wonderment, and he slid in next to you. “WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME?”

 

The realization that he liked you made you feel like you were in some twilight zone, and you were suddenly hyper aware that any interaction was influenced by his feelings for you… Feelings… You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks, and you glanced out the window to see Sans wink, before looking down at your hands.

 

“I, um, didn’t want to um… it seems silly now, but I thought by calling you to come get me, it would make things weird between us because my date with Sans didn’t go well.”

 

The car pulled forward, brows drawn thoughtfully, “BUT I AM YOUR FRIEND. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I WOULD WANT YOU TO CALL ME.”

 

You dared a glance up to see his eyes fixated on the road, his cheeks glowing a deep crimson.

 

You could help the shy smile, when your stomach started growling angrily. You let out an embarrassed chuckle, looking back to your hands in your lap.

 

“DID YOU NOT EAT ON YOUR DATE?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“IT WOULD BE IN POOR TASTES TO SEND YOU HOME HUNGRY, I GUESS I MUST FEED YOU.”

 

You couldn’t help the derisive smile that twisted your lips, and the little chuckle slipped out. “I suppose so.”

 

* * *

 

Sans watched Papyrus’ car pull away, the snow drifting onto the road and sidewalk, slowly covering the evidence of your little spat. He couldn’t help but sigh, looking up into the black sky smiling ironically, “girlfriends really are too much work, anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans you dirty liar... And a cat is out of the bag... sorta... And things are probably going to get weird...

**Author's Note:**

> Check me out on tumblr [(つ▀¯▀)つ click me!!!](http://readsleepcoffee.tumblr.com/) where you can chat me up, see the (was 3 but is NOW 4) pieces of artwork for UT i made, or send an ask (to me, or to the character's of my stories) :D


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